Sunday, October 17, 2010

Life. Blah.

Running away has never sounded better than these last few days and/or weeks. My parents might be divorcing. I'm not going to jump to conclusions and say they will. But the hints they're leaving make it seem like it. If they do divorce, I'm not sure if it'll be a good thing or not. God's law says not to divorce. Unless your spouse is being abusive. Does verbal abuse count? Then again, they might be better off without each other. I'm 99.9% positive my life would be totally different. Questions that go through my head are the following: Would I change schools? Would I leave Alabama? Would I stay with mom or dad? Would I have different choices? Who would get the house? What stuff would I keep? Would I be happy or sad? Would this affect my religion? Would this affect my personality? Would I cut again? If I went with mom, would she abuse me? If I went with dad, would he abuse me? Couldn't I just go on by myself? And etc...So many circles, so many decisions that could alter this and that.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
 I can't help but think that good will outcome of this. At least I'm being optimistic...? Some days though are like... "Life sucks...and then you die". And other days are like "Life is great! And so is God". Sounds bi-polar... right?

Oh, school. Report cards came out. All A's except a B. Almost cried. I blame Algebra 2. Blah. Friends...? Blah. What are those? Internet has my friends, mannnn. Thank Elyon for the Internet, heh heh. But seriously, if I had friends, they are truly invisible. Maybe because my school consist of EIGHTEEN people. Not many people but so many cliques. I just so happen to be in one. It has one person in the clique... me. cool, huh? I'm used to being lonely now. I won't complain. I only receive about 100 words from classmates everyday. Maybe less. I don't really care.
So, yes. And, I found an amazing verse Friday(?). Hebrews 12:12-13

Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; and make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

I love it. Just saying...

Live it,
Stefani B.

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